The top 10 relationship lies of software nerds

This post is inspired by the top lies series over at Guy Kawasaki’s blog. So without further delay, here are the top 10 lies of software nerds and what they actually mean.

1. “It’s not you, it’s me.” It’s not you, it’s not me, it’s the darn BSD kernel I have been trying to compile for weeks. Until the time I’m done with that, everything else takes a back seat.

2. “I can’t make it tonight, I need to finish writing the documentation.” This is as bad as it can get for you if are at the receiving end. What that really means is that I find you so boring and unattractive, that the prospect of doing the most horrific activity known to me holds more appeal than spending an evening with you.

3. “My dream date would be smart, intelligent and have a sense of humor.” Someone with a 4 digit Slashdot id would be perfect! (Not necessarily the same thing, but that’s what they are really looking for.)

4. “You don’t look fat in that dress.” Lie by omission. Should read “You don’t look fat in that dress after I’m done Photoshop-ing the pic.”

5. “Things are happening too fast for my liking.” Often used when relationships don’t follow the “usual” boy meets girl at IRC, they exchange email IDs, graduate to IM… routine and skip one or more steps to real life dates.

6. “I met someone else” Not necessarily a lie i.e. if ~HotChick73 over at IRC qualifies as “someone”.

7. “I have an early start tomorrow.” A “toned down” variation of #3 above. If it turns out to be true, you might be in luck – you aren’t really going out with a software nerd.

8. “I have done it before.” Ya, right!

9. “I feel I don’t really know you.” That means I tried Googling your name, but it didn’t return any relevant results.

10. Software nerds have relationships Enough said.

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